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Aarin [userpic]
by Aarin (freak_thankyou)
at September 5th, 2006 (09:44 pm)

Title: Crash and Burn
Rating: G
Pairing: Mark/Roger
Summary: Mark has closed off. Roger tries to help him.
Warning: I put in song lyrics if that bugs anyone.
Notes: Written for silverotter's request
Disclaimer: I don't own Rent or the song Crash and Burn. I'm just borrrowing them for fun.


Mark bottled things up. That might have been okay if he had not been exposed to everything that he had. Roger was a drug addict, April died, Roger got HIV, Angel died, and Collins died. Collin's death was the breaking point. Instead of exploding, Mark retreated into himself, which was much worse in Roger's opinion. He could handle anger, fights, or pissed off remarks. What he couldn't handle was how Mark was now. He couldn't deal with Mark becoming a robot, just going through the motions. He didn't know what to do with the person he used to know. He didn't understand how someone could leave mentally. He could understand wanting to leave, he would've done it himself if Mark hadn't needed him, but he didn't know why Mark chose to leave reality instead of New York.

Roger stayed with Mark whenever he could, but he had to leave for necessary things like groceries, medication and his job. Since Mark had quit Buzzline, money was tight, then after Collins died things got really bad. Roger became part of a small, local band. It brought in money, let him get out some, and helped take his mind off of Mark for awhile. He wrote the majority of the songs for the band. Writing songs was how he dealt with things, like Mark changing.

Roger wasn't a patient person. He'd tried to be in the beginning, but it was too difficult. He had to do something. He couldn't stand slowly coaxing his friend out over a year the way Mark had for him. That was too slow. He needed something faster. He had to communicate with Mark any way he could.

Roger spent the morning putting the finishing touches on his latest song while he waited for Mark to emerge from his room. Finally, he heard the sounds that meant Mark was awake. The door opened and Mark walked into the kitchen to fix himself a glass of water. When he finished, he placed it in the sink, took a seat on the couch, and began to stare at something that no one else could see. Roger broke the silence. “Hey, Mark.”

“Hi.” The response was quiet and stiff.

“We've got a show coming up next week. Do you want to come? You could even film it.” He knew it was unlikely, but he could hope. Mark rarely filmed anything anymore.

Mark didn't say anything. Instead, he stretched out on the couch and began to stare at the ceiling. Roger sighed.

Roger stood backstage, fiddling with his guitar as he waited for the current band to finish their set. He wasn't normally this nervous before a gig. It wasn't even that good of a gig. He knew he was feeling this way because of his friend. Mark always made his friends' problems his own. Everything just built up and he finally cracked after Collins' death. Roger saw one of his band mates, Keith, the bass guitarist, walk by and called him over. “Tell the rest of the guys that we'll play Crash and Burn, just the way we worked it in rehearsal.”

Finally, the other band left the stage. Roger could concentrate on the music and not worry about Mark now. He scanned the crowd. He did it at every show. It was a habit from back before everything went wrong when Mark and April would come to his shows.

Roger stopped suddenly. A familiar patch of blond hair was standing near the back of the crowd. Roger smiled, but it faded slightly when he realized that Mark had the same blank expression that he'd had the past few months. His smiled returned to normal when he saw that Mark was attempting to move closer to the stage. He introduced the band and they began to play.

The show went by in a blur until the moment Crash and Burn came up. He was worried that it wasn't going to work, but put up his rocker image to introduce the song. “Hey, everyone! I hope you've enjoyed the show so far. We're going to slow it down a little with this next song. I wrote this for a friend of mine. I'll always be there for you. You know who you are.” He began playing the opening riff, relaxing as everyone else came in perfectly. He took a deep breath and began singing.

"When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart"


He looked out at the crowd and found Mark. He was closer to the stage than before, but that was all that had changed. He wasn't even looking at Roger. Roger tried to put more emotion into his voice as he sang.

"I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone"


As he looked out again, he saw the slightest of smiles on Mark's face. He hoped he was beginning to understand.

"When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day"


Roger looked out at the crowd, smiling as he prepared for the chorus, and was shocked to find a similar smile when he looked at Mark. He continued to sing, this time with more energy.

"Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again"


Roger hoped that the last lines were true. He hated seeing his friend so upset, though maybe things would be different after tonight. He looked out at his friend. He was still smiling and was even swaying slightly with the beat. Roger took in a deep breath as the instrumental break began to calm and it was time for him to sing again.

"When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart"


Roger let himself get caught up as the music crescendoed into the chorus.

"Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone"


Roger looked out at the crowd as the chorus repeated itself to a fade. He was happy to see that by this point Mark had gotten caught up in the music and was all out grinning. He was happy to see that he'd finally gotten through.


Crossposted

Comments

Posted by: My kids go to Hogwarts (singingchipmunk)
Posted at: September 6th, 2006 09:01 am (UTC)
The Door

Aww. Poor Marky. I like the way Roger went about trying to make him at least feel better. This was cute, and the song is really cool. Could you link me the song. I'd like th hear it. Thanks. Great job!

Posted by: Aarin (freak_thankyou)
Posted at: September 6th, 2006 09:31 pm (UTC)

Thank you. This is not one of the best things I've written so it's nice to get good feedback, even if it isn't very good.

This is the challenge post which includes a link to the song which hopefully still works. If it doesn't then I'll upload the song for you.

Posted by: My kids go to Hogwarts (singingchipmunk)
Posted at: September 6th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
Close on Roger gif

You're welcome. ^__^

The link isn't there anymore.

Posted by: Aarin (freak_thankyou)
Posted at: September 6th, 2006 11:45 pm (UTC)

Crash and Burn There you go. Hope you like it.

Posted by: My kids go to Hogwarts (singingchipmunk)
Posted at: September 7th, 2006 12:02 am (UTC)
^_^_

Thank you!

Posted by: Aarin (freak_thankyou)
Posted at: September 7th, 2006 12:45 am (UTC)

You're welcome!

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